Supply and Demand

If you search the internet you will find many lists of things that people were unaware of or not prepared for when it came to pregnancy/birth/motherhood because nobody warned them. Those things are a wide variety of things ranging from body changes, mood swings, and the gross factor. While I was pregnant I read many of those lists but that still didn't prepare me like I thought it would. And now I have my own item to add to the vast list that circulates the internet world. 

Before my son was born I expected nursing him to be a learning curve. I knew it would be a challenge and that we would just need to stick to our guns until we figured it out. Having that mindset was helpful as we struggled a bit with getting the hang of it and it wasn't until a week and a half into it that we were finally starting to do good. 

However, what I did not expect and what nobody told me was that it takes a lot of work to make milk. I never realized how my diet would affect both the content of the milk as well as the quantity. Now I realize not everyone struggles with this as much as I do but it is hard to keep up a good supply of milk for my son. He is an eater and I know that if I had more of a supply he would for sure be a heftier kid. 

It is a challenge for me to keep up with the demand and to make sure my supply doesn't drop because I chose to eat unhealthy for a meal. It is a constant worry of mine that one day my supply will completely disappear and I won't have anymore for my son. In some ways I will be thankful when he is weened so I won't have to be so concerned about eating all the right fats and proteins every day. 

I wish someone had told me about the challenges of making a good supply. Maybe then I would not have felt so panicked when I noticed my supply start to drop one day. Maybe I would have been able to tailor my diet better right away if I had known that this could be an issue. 

I could go into the what ifs and I wishes but I guess this is one thing that you live and learn and keep going. My son is not starving. He is getting the food he needs. I just have to work hard to keep making that food. It may be tiresome but it won't be for forever. And when the day comes that I no longer am able to feed him this way I will probably miss it. Funny how life is that way.

Learning New Skills

As a new mom this whole raising a kid thing is an adventure. Each new stage of baby development has been exciting and fun. I really loved the tiny baby stage but I think I am enjoying the stage my little man is currently in even more. Each day he seems to be more and more interactive. It is fun to see him laugh and giggle while playing peek-a-boo and watch as he is able to wiggle across the floor to get a toy.

Some days he surprises me at how quickly he is now able to get from point A to point B. At 5 1/2 months he isn't crawling yet but he is close. It is also fun to watch him as each day his sitting skills get better and better.

Everyone says to cherish these days because they go by so quickly and before I know it he will be an adult and moving out. And judging by how quickly these last 5 months have gone I am afraid they might be right. My baby is still a baby but he is growing more and more independent and able to do more and more himself. It saddens me a little but it is also exciting to see him grow and develop.

The one consolation to this whole thing is that, although he doesn't like to cuddle, he does very much like to be held. It just warms my heart to see his little hands shoot up in the air when I walk past him. I love knowing that when he is sad or hurt or tired it is me that he wants, not somebody else. I love being the person who is there for him and am the one who can calm him and make him laugh again.

It won't be long before he is crawling. And I am told things speed up after that. It can be easy to be overwhelmed by the future and how quickly it will all go but for now I choose to ignore those coming things and just focus on the now. What a blessing he is to me.

Stop. Smell The Roses

Life is just one big chaotic jumble of activity that makes it difficult to remember what is truly important. My house is currently a disaster. There are piles of both clean and dirty laundry waiting to be taken care of, the bathroom hasn't been cleaned in over a month, and there are piles of things that I still need to find homes for in our tiny apartment. It is overwhelming at times but sometimes I need to just take a breathe and ignore the mess for a few minutes and just enjoy the moment that I am in instead of worrying about everything that isn't getting done.

My little boy is already 5 months old. If I am not careful his baby years will pass me by without my notice. Yes, there are things that need to be done but sometimes what is most important is for me to reevaluate what is the priority: a clean house or building a relationship with my son. In 20 years what he will remember and care about is not how much I struggled with keeping the house clean but how much time I spent with him and whether I took time to just enjoy life with him. The dishes will still be there in the morning but my son will not be this little forever and I for one am choosing to stop and smell the roses.