It's hard to believe that my little one is already 9 months old. And already walking at that! Life has been a huge whirlwind of activity and my once little, tiny, kid is, well, still tiny but he is growing and exploring and becoming more and more independent every day. He loves to learn new things and is very determined to master each new skill. And that is probably why he is walking by 9 months. Oiy. Where has the time gone?
Back in April I started working again. Prior to even becoming pregnant I had found a freelance job that I could do from home with very flexible hours. I took a long break from that work when I got pregnant due to just being overwhelmed by morning sickness and getting ready for the new little one to arrive. After he did finally arrive I was struggling so much from lack of sleep I could hardly see straight so work waited.
But now my little one is easily entertained by himself and I no longer need those naps when he naps so I have returned to work. There are a lot of freelance jobs out there that you can do from home. The job that I found that has served me quite well is video captioning. I write the subtitles to videos. It works perfect for me as I love to type and I can do it when and if I have time. What is also nice is that it is flexible so I can work as many or few hours as I choose or have time for (provided there is work) and I can work any part of the day or night I so choose.
This works out well for me and I find myself sitting at my computer feeling as though I have purpose again. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom and I am so very thankful that I can be at home with my little munchkin but I do find that there is much want for something more constructive to do with my brain than gaga googoo. And this job fits the bill.
Today I actually applied for a second freelance job, a transcription job at another company. I did this because work isn't always consistent and it is nice to have a second (or third) option available for work if the first option doesn't have anything at the moment. I am looking forward to hearing back from them and hoping that I get in and am able to find some work there as well.
Life is good. I am enjoying all that I have on my plate and am always happy with variety, which I have much of nowadays. And so, until next time, have a lovely, purpose-filled day. Ciao!
Monday, June 5, 2017
Thursday, February 16, 2017
Supply and Demand
If you search the internet you will find many lists of things that people were unaware of or not prepared for when it came to pregnancy/birth/motherhood because nobody warned them. Those things are a wide variety of things ranging from body changes, mood swings, and the gross factor. While I was pregnant I read many of those lists but that still didn't prepare me like I thought it would. And now I have my own item to add to the vast list that circulates the internet world.
Before my son was born I expected nursing him to be a learning curve. I knew it would be a challenge and that we would just need to stick to our guns until we figured it out. Having that mindset was helpful as we struggled a bit with getting the hang of it and it wasn't until a week and a half into it that we were finally starting to do good.
However, what I did not expect and what nobody told me was that it takes a lot of work to make milk. I never realized how my diet would affect both the content of the milk as well as the quantity. Now I realize not everyone struggles with this as much as I do but it is hard to keep up a good supply of milk for my son. He is an eater and I know that if I had more of a supply he would for sure be a heftier kid.
It is a challenge for me to keep up with the demand and to make sure my supply doesn't drop because I chose to eat unhealthy for a meal. It is a constant worry of mine that one day my supply will completely disappear and I won't have anymore for my son. In some ways I will be thankful when he is weened so I won't have to be so concerned about eating all the right fats and proteins every day.
I wish someone had told me about the challenges of making a good supply. Maybe then I would not have felt so panicked when I noticed my supply start to drop one day. Maybe I would have been able to tailor my diet better right away if I had known that this could be an issue.
I could go into the what ifs and I wishes but I guess this is one thing that you live and learn and keep going. My son is not starving. He is getting the food he needs. I just have to work hard to keep making that food. It may be tiresome but it won't be for forever. And when the day comes that I no longer am able to feed him this way I will probably miss it. Funny how life is that way.
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Learning New Skills
As a new mom this whole raising a kid thing is an adventure. Each new stage of baby development has been exciting and fun. I really loved the tiny baby stage but I think I am enjoying the stage my little man is currently in even more. Each day he seems to be more and more interactive. It is fun to see him laugh and giggle while playing peek-a-boo and watch as he is able to wiggle across the floor to get a toy.
Some days he surprises me at how quickly he is now able to get from point A to point B. At 5 1/2 months he isn't crawling yet but he is close. It is also fun to watch him as each day his sitting skills get better and better.
Everyone says to cherish these days because they go by so quickly and before I know it he will be an adult and moving out. And judging by how quickly these last 5 months have gone I am afraid they might be right. My baby is still a baby but he is growing more and more independent and able to do more and more himself. It saddens me a little but it is also exciting to see him grow and develop.
The one consolation to this whole thing is that, although he doesn't like to cuddle, he does very much like to be held. It just warms my heart to see his little hands shoot up in the air when I walk past him. I love knowing that when he is sad or hurt or tired it is me that he wants, not somebody else. I love being the person who is there for him and am the one who can calm him and make him laugh again.
It won't be long before he is crawling. And I am told things speed up after that. It can be easy to be overwhelmed by the future and how quickly it will all go but for now I choose to ignore those coming things and just focus on the now. What a blessing he is to me.
Some days he surprises me at how quickly he is now able to get from point A to point B. At 5 1/2 months he isn't crawling yet but he is close. It is also fun to watch him as each day his sitting skills get better and better.
Everyone says to cherish these days because they go by so quickly and before I know it he will be an adult and moving out. And judging by how quickly these last 5 months have gone I am afraid they might be right. My baby is still a baby but he is growing more and more independent and able to do more and more himself. It saddens me a little but it is also exciting to see him grow and develop.
The one consolation to this whole thing is that, although he doesn't like to cuddle, he does very much like to be held. It just warms my heart to see his little hands shoot up in the air when I walk past him. I love knowing that when he is sad or hurt or tired it is me that he wants, not somebody else. I love being the person who is there for him and am the one who can calm him and make him laugh again.
It won't be long before he is crawling. And I am told things speed up after that. It can be easy to be overwhelmed by the future and how quickly it will all go but for now I choose to ignore those coming things and just focus on the now. What a blessing he is to me.
Sunday, February 12, 2017
Stop. Smell The Roses
Life is just one big chaotic jumble of activity that makes it difficult to remember what is truly important. My house is currently a disaster. There are piles of both clean and dirty laundry waiting to be taken care of, the bathroom hasn't been cleaned in over a month, and there are piles of things that I still need to find homes for in our tiny apartment. It is overwhelming at times but sometimes I need to just take a breathe and ignore the mess for a few minutes and just enjoy the moment that I am in instead of worrying about everything that isn't getting done.
My little boy is already 5 months old. If I am not careful his baby years will pass me by without my notice. Yes, there are things that need to be done but sometimes what is most important is for me to reevaluate what is the priority: a clean house or building a relationship with my son. In 20 years what he will remember and care about is not how much I struggled with keeping the house clean but how much time I spent with him and whether I took time to just enjoy life with him. The dishes will still be there in the morning but my son will not be this little forever and I for one am choosing to stop and smell the roses.
My little boy is already 5 months old. If I am not careful his baby years will pass me by without my notice. Yes, there are things that need to be done but sometimes what is most important is for me to reevaluate what is the priority: a clean house or building a relationship with my son. In 20 years what he will remember and care about is not how much I struggled with keeping the house clean but how much time I spent with him and whether I took time to just enjoy life with him. The dishes will still be there in the morning but my son will not be this little forever and I for one am choosing to stop and smell the roses.
Monday, January 30, 2017
Sleepless Nights
Prior to having a child I thought I understood, at least to some level, how it feels to have severe lack of sleep. From being a summer camp counselor where the only sleep I'd really get was an afternoon nap on Saturdays to when I was in college working full time while taking a full class load, I thought I had a good handle on what it's like to be without sleep. However, I forgot several key elements that make a parent's lack of sleep much, much worse than any camp counselor or college student.
Before, when I was suffering from lack of sleep, I could comfort myself with the thought of the summer ending or a upcoming holiday break. There was always an end in sight. A parent doesn't get such luxuries. A camp counselor and college student are not repeatedly woken up at random hours of the night and required to get up to change and feed a small infant and then still have to function like a normal person throughout the day.
Lack of sleep is hard no matter what kind it is. But when I am woken up at 2am for the 4th time already that night I sometimes feel as though I might never survive. How do parents do this and seem perfectly normal every day? I always imagined myself to be one of those super moms who can keep up the house, have a nice meal prepared when the husband comes home, be involved in lots of activities, and look nice at any given moment. I laugh at the thought now - if I manage to get even one of those things done I consider it a huge success.
My son is 5 months old now and he still doesn't sleep well; which means I don't sleep either. There are nights when he's up and its only been an hour since I laid him down. Nights like that make me want to give up. I just want to ignore his cries and just sleep. There are times when I am nursing him that I feel myself repeatedly starting to nod off and I wonder if I am going to be able to safely carry him to his bed. There are times I just want to bury my head in a pill and cry from exhaustion. There are times when I feel angry that I have to get up for the 5th time that night.
Sometimes the lack of sleep creates an illusion of hopelessness. Everyone tells me that someday it will get better but that someday is so far away it is impossible to see. As the lack of sleep continues I begin to feel delirious and no longer in my right mind. I think I might literally go crazy and I wonder how I will survive.
But then, my son looks up at me with those big blue eyes that sparkle as he gives me one of the biggest grins and I know why I have to trudge on. I know that despite all the hard work and no sleep his total existence depends on me and he is worth every effort and exhausting night.
I don't know when the feeling of sanity will return or when I will be able to get a good night's sleep and be able to get the house clean but what I do know is that I wouldn't change any of it for the world. My heart is full and I feel privileged to have the job of taking care of this little person. Yes, my heart is full.
Before, when I was suffering from lack of sleep, I could comfort myself with the thought of the summer ending or a upcoming holiday break. There was always an end in sight. A parent doesn't get such luxuries. A camp counselor and college student are not repeatedly woken up at random hours of the night and required to get up to change and feed a small infant and then still have to function like a normal person throughout the day.
Lack of sleep is hard no matter what kind it is. But when I am woken up at 2am for the 4th time already that night I sometimes feel as though I might never survive. How do parents do this and seem perfectly normal every day? I always imagined myself to be one of those super moms who can keep up the house, have a nice meal prepared when the husband comes home, be involved in lots of activities, and look nice at any given moment. I laugh at the thought now - if I manage to get even one of those things done I consider it a huge success.
My son is 5 months old now and he still doesn't sleep well; which means I don't sleep either. There are nights when he's up and its only been an hour since I laid him down. Nights like that make me want to give up. I just want to ignore his cries and just sleep. There are times when I am nursing him that I feel myself repeatedly starting to nod off and I wonder if I am going to be able to safely carry him to his bed. There are times I just want to bury my head in a pill and cry from exhaustion. There are times when I feel angry that I have to get up for the 5th time that night.
Sometimes the lack of sleep creates an illusion of hopelessness. Everyone tells me that someday it will get better but that someday is so far away it is impossible to see. As the lack of sleep continues I begin to feel delirious and no longer in my right mind. I think I might literally go crazy and I wonder how I will survive.
But then, my son looks up at me with those big blue eyes that sparkle as he gives me one of the biggest grins and I know why I have to trudge on. I know that despite all the hard work and no sleep his total existence depends on me and he is worth every effort and exhausting night.
I don't know when the feeling of sanity will return or when I will be able to get a good night's sleep and be able to get the house clean but what I do know is that I wouldn't change any of it for the world. My heart is full and I feel privileged to have the job of taking care of this little person. Yes, my heart is full.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)